Home for the Holidays: Appreciating Seasons of Change
about the author
Maeve Wall is a junior English major at Northwestern University also studying in the Brady Scholar Program for Ethics and Civic Life. She is Vice President of Membership of her sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha and has been involved with various other activities such as Alternative Student Breaks. She hopes to pursue her interests in education, non-profits and travel after college.
Winter break in fifth grade: Snow-forts and snow-men and snow-angels; cookies, hot chocolate and adorably creepy claymation movies about Santa Claus.
Winter break in ninth grade: The mall, the movie theatre as hang-out of choice and the first appearance of make-up on my Christmas list
Winter break during my freshman year in college: Nostaglia-driven reunions with high school friends and the exchanging both of presents and of illicit college stories
My winter break in my junior year of college has been unlike any other thus far. While freshman year I practically raced back to recount tales of my college life to my tried and true friends from home, this year, it was hard to leave behind the people at school who have been there while those stories were made, and who have helped me grow tremendously since I stepped onto campus a mere two years ago. It was even harder coming back to change.
My older brothers warned me that my rolodex of high school friends would get smaller and smaller as the years went by, but I didn’t believe them. “Not me,” I thought, “not my friends.”
While it is true that I have maintained my closest friendships from high school, and I know that those friends will remain a part of my life long into adulthood, it is undeniable that things have changed. Every time I come home from school, I am struck by the sometimes shocking differences.
My friends have new friends whom they call when they’re locked out of their apartment. I don’t know a lot of the people they talk about — I haven’t even met some of their significant others.
But it’s not just friendships that have changed. Looking at my bedroom, I feel almost as if a stranger decorated it. The pictures that cover my dresser and my walls, taken only two years ago, reflect an old me with different interests and different goals. And what in the world was I wearing? My car, my kitchen, my favorite coffee shop, they seem fundamentally altered. I approach them all curiously, like a 22nd century Marty McFly.
Though my situation may be slightly different from others — I can count the times I’ve been home since I left for college on one hand — I know that many of my college friends have expressed a similar sentiment. For many college students, “home” has taken on a duplicitous meaning. There is the home of your youth, unforgettable and permanent as the stain on your favorite high school sweatshirt. But there is another home for many: the places and people you have grown to love at your university.
This holiday season, I think it is best to appreciate both. While I have been tempted many times over break to resort to my 13-year-old angst, to become overwhelmed by the new living room furniture or the essential gossip that my friends from home forgot to tell me about, I have to remember the inevitability of change and the beauty of what is permanent. While Crimson Cup no longer offers iced hot chocolates, my mom still welcomes me in the door with news of her favorite reality show. While my brother’s sports-themed bedroom is now a quite fashionable guest room, my house still smells like laundry, and my dad still offers to make me a bowl of spaghetti every few minutes. And while my friends and I can’t relate to each other about everything anymore, I still know that when I’m upset and need support and a laugh, they understand me better than anyone else and will be there at a moment’s notice.
And that second home? The one marked by memories of Solo cups and study sessions, cute teaching assistants and an unnaturally small amount of sleep? There’s a reason why many people look back on their time in college as the best years of their lives. At college, your mind is opened to worldviews, academic disciplines, places, and people, the likes of which you may have never encountered before. As you discover who you are, in a deep and meaningful way, your university takes on an increasingly large significance in your life.
So, my winter break during my junior year in college: Full of appreciation for the past, the present, and the future, and for all of the “homes” I’ve come to love.
