Making Roommate Relationships Work
about the author
Jordan J. Frasier is a staff writer for NextGen Journal. He’s a senior at George Mason University studying political science and journalism. Jordan is a news editor for Connect2mason.com and is a network news intern in Washington D.C. Connect with him on twitter @jordanjfrasier and at jordanjfrasier.com.
The challenges of dorm dwelling are sure to be on the minds of college students who will head back to campus in the next few weeks.
After spending time at home and a whole semester with the same roommate, many students will greet a new face across the room after deciding to part ways with last semester’s bunkmate, and others hope not to greet the same face with the same old problems.
Whether starting with a new roommate or just hoping for a smoother semester, here are some quick tips to make the roommate relationship work.
According to Patty Kellogg, who holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Lewis and Clark College and specializes in relationships, it is helpful for roommates to start out having similar personalities, but if that’s not the case, then all hope for a successful cohabitation is not lost.
“It helps if you have some level of similar personalities, but if you don’t have that situation, the best you can do is talk to the roommate and find what their preferences are,” Kellogg said.
Kellogg said living with another person could produce challenging circumstances that can strain a relationship, especially in a dorm: like a messy person living with a neat freak or a night owl living with a morning person.
The first thing students can do to avoid strain is to be upfront and honest with a roommate from the start. Let each other know each individual’s likes, dislikes and general habits. Then compromises can be made.
Kellogg also said a compromise doesn’t mean simply taking the middle path, but involves some give and take by each person.
For instance, if one roommate likes to go to bed at 10 p.m. and another goes to bed at midnight, a compromise might be three nights per week both roommates turn-in at 10 p.m. and three nights per week lights out is midnight.
The second important component for a successful roommate relationship is for each of the roommates to have other friends and other places to go on campus.
Kellogg said having other places to go helps each roommate meet his or her individual needs for studying and socializing without complicating the dorm life environment.
Lastly, Kellogg said living in a dorm, challenging or not, is a great life lesson.
“Most people go on to live with other people, like another roommate or life partner, and they’ll have to make those types of accommodations too,” Kellogg said.
She mentioned that learning to share a living environment while in college is great preparation to build coping strategies for experiences after college.
“A lot of issues in a roommate relationship are difficult, and there’s not always an easy answer, but these tips help,” Kellogg remarked.
