Next Gen Journal

By Drew Ilijevski

In a new era of ‘going green’, ‘save the earth’, and the infamous CARS (formerly and aptly named ‘Cash for Clunkers’), one Hummer dealership in Chesterfield, Missouri is resorting to unorthodox methods to increase revenue: selling semi-automatic and automatic weapons as well as ammunition for said weaponry.  The dealership’s new program, ingeniously named ‘hummers and guns,’ added a new wing of business under the moniker ‘Adventure Shooting Sports’.

Rifles on display at Adventure Shooting Sports

The self-proclaimed leader in ‘tactical weaponry, hunting and home defense’, Jim Lynch Hummer dealership and Adventure Shooting Sports have invested a vast amount of time and money into making this recession-necessary program by transforming an entire showroom into a gun room that rivals standalone weapon warehouse.  From 12-gauge shotguns to M4A1 automatic rifles and P90 submachine guns to Dragunov sniper rifles, this superstore truly offers weaponry for any type of consumer.  In addition to peddling gas-guzzling hummers and automatic weaponry, Jim Lynch sells a variety of ammunition types, including the .38 special round, used in revolvers as well as other semi-automatic pistols.  Yet another facet of operation at this special Hummer dealership that sets it apart from others is a 60 acre, 10 mile long off-road course designed to showcase the hummer’s uncanny ability to handle rough terrain.

The ideology of ‘Hummers and Guns’ is in stark contrast to that of the CARS program, which gave consumers a $4,500 rebate for trading in less fuel-efficient cars for ‘greener’ cars (and was highly successful with 700,000 clunkers taken off the road and $2.877 billion dollars in rebates to be shipped shortly). Nonetheless it has been quite successful, with thousands upon thousands of dollars spent already on hummers, guns, and ammunition.  Given the program’s great success, a plethora of media outlets such as CNN have covered this story to reveal its quirky business plan.

After travelling back to St. Louis this year, I took notice of a Jim Lynch Hummer dealership that I had passed by countless times since I was a child (I used to live there).  From its vast exterior to its trendy interior, I can attest that this is by far the most interesting Hummer dealership ever created, and it is the largest, highest-grossing Hummer dealership in the U.S.  With a business idea that seems as if it could belong in Team America: World Police, Jim Lynch Hummer Dealership has shown versatility, and is providing the good citizens of Chesterfield, Missouri with all of their ‘home defense’ needs.

Despite not selling one car through the CARS program (I cannot think of a car that gets worse car mileage than a Hummer H-Series), this clever Hummer dealership has set an example for other car dealerships to diversify their methods of raising revenues and thinking outside the box.  Keep your Duramax turbo diesel engine running, your 4WD off-roading tires spinning, and your guns blazing!

Drew Ilijevski is a NGJ Contributor and a San Diego High School Student.