Next Gen Journal

by Nate Balmert

(all times are Pacific Standard Time)

5:09  The 2009 Home Run Derby is underway with the hosts’ picks. I am excited to see the enthusiastic Chris Berman. Steve Phillips and Joe Morgan make picks as well; Chris Berman, not surprisingly, picks Albert Pujols; I think they have a special connection. Joe Morgan picks Ryan Howard. Personally, I am rooting for Adrian Gonzalez, the first Padres’ Home Run Derby contestant that I can remember.

President Obama at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, the site of the 2009 Home Run Derby (Public Domain)

5:19  Nelson Cruz, a Texas Ranger, is first up. I do not know much about him. By the way, ESPN can track the ball distance this year as the ball is hit. I laugh as I consider the possibility of a Home Run Derby at Petco. It would be sorely lacking in home runs.

5:22  Cruz is doing pretty well; he has 5 HR and 5 outs now. The most underrated part of this game is the good pitching. Adrian will have the Padres’ BP pitcher out to pitch to him; he bats fourth.

5:24  Cruz hit some monster home runs, and of course we get some nice “waaaay backs” from Chris Berman. Now, Nelson “Sail around the world” Cruz has 11 HR and 9 outs. Epic Chris Berman nicknames are the best part so far. Cruz finishes with 11 long balls.

5:29  Prince Fielder is up, with no hat or batting helmet, and he hits a home run on his second pitch. Meanwhile, favored contestant Albert Pujols provides commentary about Stan Musial, the St. Louis hero, and other baseball topics. Fielder looks irritated that Pujols is stealing his thunder. “Let Power happen,” Pujols says, in his thick South American accent. Fielder is doing about as good as Cruz. Nine home runs and eight outs. “Back, Back Back,” Berman says, and Fielder has 11 home runs and finishes tied with Cruz in this first round.

5:40  The sound of the wood making contact with the ball is solid and distinguished as ESPN shows us Fielder’s massive swing again. The microphone they are using is superb.

5:41  Amazing baseball commercial that is secretly for Budweiser. Also, a Taco Bell commercial reminds me that Heath Bell is a big fan of their beef and cheese burritos. He better be careful if he wants to stay fit; he might need to play some more Wii if the Padres don’t give him enough save opportunities amid their horrid losing streak.

5:43  We’re back with Brandon Inge batting now. Inge has 4 unceremonious outs and no homers. He finishes with 0; he had two yesterday with real pitching and will be pretty much eliminated in this contest.

5:49 Adrian Gonzalez is up, folks. Batting from the left side, he hits his first ball short of the warning track. When Adrian hits one out of the park with 6 outs, Heath Bell is shown cheering and taking a picture. And Adrian finishes with two home runs.

6:00 Erin Andrews is working tirelessly to entertain us during this first round. Josh Hamilton recollects with Ms. Andrews on his amazing Home Run Derby performance last year.

6:04: Carlos Pena has 5 home runs and 7 outs. The announcers are talking about the importance of fielding; ironic, given the venue, but true, nevertheless. One of the contestants is a “Fielder”…

6:06  Pena finishes with five. Five batters down in the State Farm Home Run Derby’s first round; three to go. A Sportsnation commercial that features a clip from some Arthurian knight appears. My two favorite things (Medieval English Literature and Sports) in one commercial! Can’t get much better.

6:12  Ryan Howard is up to continue the fun. Random thought: no one gives Berman much credit for his pun skills. With three jacks, Howard officially eliminates Adrian Gonzalez. Golf broadcasters (cough cough NBC) should look into this amazing Ball Track software. It follows the baseball with a colored tail and turns green if it will be a home run. It isn’t perfect, but it’s a delightful addition.  Joe Mauer warms up in a batting cage. Is he taking it a little too seriously? With seven home runs now, Howard all but eliminates Tampa Bay’s Carlos Pena (he had 5). We are looking at Howard, Fielder, Cruz, and Pujols or Mauer right now for the “Final Four.” This Home Run Derby is dragging out like a ball of thread under the control of a demon cat (Granted, a mysterious simile, but you get the point).

6:22  Mauer is off to a good start; he has 4 outs and 2 home runs right now. Mauer, a catcher who finishes with 5 long balls, will not stand in the way of an event dominated by first basemen and Nelson Cruz so far. All Pujols has to do is glare at a few pitches and he should obtain the  6 Homers necessary to continue.

6:33  Pujols has 1 HR and 4 outs. The crowd is starting to give some vocal support for their struggling hometown favorite. Over thirty home runs in the first half of the season and now only 1 with 6 outs. Pujols stages a minor comeback, but then finds himself looking at 3 HR’s and 9 outs. Make that four and the crowd goes wild. “Way back,” Berman yells and the crowd erupts, and Pujols has 5 HR’s and 9 outs. He finishes with that and must now have a “dreaded bat off” with Pena and Mauer.

6:48  Pena hits one on five swings. This is becoming progressively more exciting as Mauer hits one off the wall and finishes with zero. The alleged “dreaded batoff” continues with Pujols. Pujols wins with two home runs and 8 outs in Round 2. ESPN repeatedly shows these little kids jumping around after a Pujols home run. Pujols is really willing his way to victory and the crowd is providing him some much needed emotional energy.

7:15  Ryan Howard hits eight bombs in the second round, finishing with 15 total.

7:27 Erin Andrews is the sleeper performer at tonight’s Derby. I didn’t know she would be there charming us, but her announcement that this event tires out Ryan Howard was really profound.

7:33  Prince Fielder is now at the plate. “Back Back Back Back,” Berman squeals, and now Fielder has a total of fourteen . Waaaay Back goes his fifteenth of the night. Prince “No Fielder Can Catch That” Fielder is looking good with 17 home runs, including a 503 footer (Chris Berman nicknames are official unless otherwise noted).

7:39  The Holiday Inn supposedly hires grounds crew people to tidy up their hotels. Okay, they probably don’t, but these commercials are thoroughly saturated with baseball.

7:50  On to the final round: Nelson Cruz vs. Prince Fielder. Nelson Cruz finishes with 5 HR in the final round. Prince Fielder hits 6 HR and wins the 2009 State Farm Home Run Derby. This event was twice as long as it needed to be. But you do have this handy diary to read instead of actually watching this event in its entirety. My final impression is that Fielder’s ability to lean into the ball, to use his body weight to generate easy power is what led him to victory. He is a perennial National League threat. The Texas Ranger’s Nelson Cruz, a player I was not familiar with, was the real surprise though, beating out NL (and St. Louis related) favorites Howard and Pujols (Howard went to high school there). Nelson Cruz, I hope to hear about you again soon.

Nate Balmert is the NGJ Sports Editor and a student at the University of Notre Dame.